While people around me were happily receiving their Valentine roses or posting photos of their roses in their facebook statuses, I was alone with my thoughts wondering whether my husband will surprise me with even a single stem or not. I don't know; maybe people are just too cheesy or am I just bitter than I won't be getting anything, not today, not tomorrow, never again; and I was right.
Hubby arrived that night bringing home with him Evo's new nanny, Joy. She replaced Airene who will take a couple months of rest for her nearing due date. I was glad he was home safe and with a new helper even with no flowers. Afterwards, he told me to dress up Evo for we will bring him to our family dinner buffet at Ciudad Garden with daddy. As I hopped into the Crosswind with Evo, I still tried to check that maybe he will surprise me with roses on my seat like what he did last year (though I only received cheap plastic roses handed to him by his office mate ate Nova). Sadly, there was none.
Although I used to tell myself we were never the sweetest couple, people around me still kind of influenced me to long for any sweet gestures. It kinda made me expect a subtle kiss on cheek or even a single long stemmed red rose. I thought to myself, the Valentine buffet place should be romantic enough for me. I walked inside the fancy resort carrying Evo alongside Daddy when we were asked to pay for our reserved tickets. Surprised, I took my wallet and paid Php1,140.00 for the 3 reserved tickets. When Tope made it to there after parking the car, he asked if I had paid the tickets and how much did it cost. He then told Daddy to hand me 1,000 bucks to me as repayment. Nice move husband. Shouldn't this be on you? We then proceeded to the long buffet table with a variety of dishes to select our food. Evo wasn't the nicest baby that night; his constant shrieking and walking around the place made me feel that night was just plain ordinary. I gave way for Tope who seemed exhausted from work to eat dinner first with daddy, and then I walked Evo around the function hall. Evo had been too energetic during his first ever Valentine's dinner out. I, too, felt more exhausted.
In short, Tope and I didn't share a romantic dinner together at the same table or at the same time. We sure did take photos but only to remember a buffer dinner out kind of night. Dinner ended, and we headed back home wherein Tope left me to tend to Evo alone. Tope didn't bother helping me either. He simply excused himself to go out and return a broken DVD to Video City. He never returned to Evo's room to check on us. I know he was never really sweet but I thought tonight might be an exception; that he might really want it to be more of a family affair with our little Evo than a rare steamy night. I thought and I had hoped that he would sleep beside me and Evo but he did not. He came back from Video City only to play some crappy video game in the blue house. I spent the night curled up like a ball beside my fluffy little boy feeling neglected again.
Next day was Friday, no more Valentine's day, no more clumsy roses nor awkward rose givers probably in the office. I was wrong. I sat in my office cubicle when Kuya Edu approached me, his face behind his back calling me, "Jo-en, flowers for you." My reaction was epic. I was like, "Really kuya? Wow, thanks kuya Edu! My husband never gave me even just a single rose blah blah." Kuya Edu had shifted to looking nervous then said it wasn't for me; that it was Mau's from her suitor, Marfy. Ouch. I never really should have expected any flower at all. Nonetheless, I'd like to thank Kuya Jeperly for giving plastic roses to all the CIO girls. That was the only flower I received for that Valentine's day aside from the plastic rose I picked from the floor of Ciudad Garden Resort.
It's not really about the flowers. It's about Tope. I don't know. I just feel like he keeps drifting away. It's like he's just staying with me for the sake of our son Evo or because his family will get mad at him if he leaves me. I really can't tell. The only conversation we make is when he would make fun of me or yell at me. We have been married for almost two years only but signs of Tope falling out of love is showing as early as now. I'm not assuming that he's making me feel that way; he is truly and intentionally showing me that that's how he feels towards me now. Maybe I should toughen myself by now for the inevitable.
