March mayhem

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. First off, we're officially evicted here at our current place. My in-laws will go with us too. I knew this would happen. I have always been aware of this since Tope and I were just a couple. But then again, marriage came too early for us since Tope got me preggo so therefore whether I like it not, I've been automatically dragged into the same problem. Tope and my in-laws have been living in the family's ancestral house for almost three decades now. It's a common property of daddy's siblings and him that's why when his wealthy uncle decided that we vacate the house premises, Tope and his parents agreed. Eventually, they decided to have their own house constructed at back of our existing home. Tope managed to talk with Engr. Jake for the construction and design so the construction will officially start on April 8, Buddha's birthday (the day Tope & I first met back in 2007 btw). 

So that's basically the first thing in my head right now. We'll be included in the house too. Tope and I will have our own room in the second floor and I am very much hoping that the room will be big enough for us so that Evo can also sleep beside me. I am really thankful and at the same time worried because, still, Tope and I won't have a place of our own. In short, we will still be dependent. Major decisions will still rest upon our in-laws especially with regard to decisions concerning Evo.

Again, it seems like a rough time for me and Tope (like always). I have always known the cause long before we tied the knot but decided to keep quiet and accept him because of the thing called love. I had thought he will change for the better. But after marriage and after he had his first real work, he changed for the worse. Sometimes, I just can't stand him. This was my fault. I had been to enduring before. I never yell back so now whenever I tried to fight back, he tells me I was the one who had changed. I don't think answering back is a big issue. After all, all I just wanted is to state my point.

I had an overtime two weeks ago for the awarding ceremonies of Gawad Calapeno which also happened to be my co-worker kuya Jager's birthday bash. So right after the program, my superior, ate Marvie invited me to attend the party with her even for just an hour. I told him about it. That was 10 in the evening already by the way so Evo is already sound asleep with mommy. I knew Tope was mad. So I stayed there with my CIO co-workers, joined the fun by singing with the acoustic band, ate crabs but never drank any liquor. Unfortunately, our driver went drinking so did our other office mates which meant my one-hour stay became almost 3 hours. I told Tope about it and he was mad. He stopped replying. At 2AM, the office van with my chief and other co-workers dropped me at home. This time the door was closed, no Tope answering my phone calls and texts to open the main door, and so I was doomed. I couldn't stay/sleep outside I am quite a scaredy cat. I decided to have McFlurry at McDo which is by the way located just across our house. I stayed there until Tope finally read my message and let me in around 4AM. It was raining heavily then too but Tope did not show up in McDo to fetch me. Sigh. I hired a trike, dropped me by the gate, and rushed into the compound. When I opened the door, my mother in law was just getting inside her room too. I got caught. Darn. Tope let me get caught. He branded me with several terms already like irresponsible parent for coming home at such unholy hour then for going to a party blah blah. I was like, "you never hear anything from you whenever you arrive home at almost 6AM from booze, but why were you scolding me?" I was so hurt. It was my first time to arrive at such hour. It was then that I felt how powerless I still am. I thought marriage is all about trust, having a giving heart, and not controlling. I felt sad. I reckon all the times I had been forgiving, trusting whenever Tope goes out for a night out with his boys. I felt stupid. He told me not to compare because he is the man and I'm just a wife, a mother. My goodness. I never asked for it. I wasn't supposed to go there but I had no choice since it was my chief who asked. She, too, had been delayed for almost three hours but simply explained to her husband and was not scolded. Why do I had to be locked out of the house? I had not sinned Christopher, but your prying eyes had looked at me as if I was the worst woman or mother for coming home late. Geez man.