The Celibate Life

I had late lunch at my mommy friends house last Wednesday. Our group is composed of married moms and we send our little kids to the same school since 2015. I haven't been visible lately and for that I had to make up with them. Chicken noodle soup, pancit canton and peanut butter sandwich were more than enough to fill us all. 

While we were happily eating one of the girls blurted that I am gaining a great deal of weight lately and that she thinks the reason is inactive sex life. Was she a psychic? How did she figure that out? I was not offended and I replied that she's damn right about it. What I did not expect was their reactions. The oldest in our group is around 55 while I am the youngest at 28. They could not believe my lust for intimacy fizzled out too early. Most even shared their lust level was at it's peak during this age. 

I don't feel uncomfortable talking about sex with them. They are all experienced and empowered women who know what they want and how to get it. One of them asked, how can you go on without it? I was even asked questions like what if you watch a lovemaking scene, don't you feel lonely or frustrated? I simply replied, No. I have gone frigid. The next remark I heard was, maybe you are just like a boring doll in bed that's why your husband had to look for someone else. For a while, I felt that I should be offended but I wasn't. These friends of mine are concern and they rather help you come to terms with your problem or find a solution for it.

It's been difficult for me at first, living celibate when my husband still lurks around the area where I eat, breath and sleep in. I tried my best ignoring my needs since we got married but when problem is that big how can one just forget? He is an alcoholic and a womanizer who finds comfort in the company of different women, hoes and average Joes alike. I always had a feeling that he had been used up already that's why whenever I try to seduce him for the deed, he would simply reject me. The hardest part, I always need to ask permission first before I can ride on him. It's like I'm the man and he is the woman in our sex life. No is No. I am not a nympho and I believe my normal hormones have a say in my rare to occasional mood swings in the past as well. 

A year had passed without anything. 

The first few months had been quite tough. I have become irritable with limited patience. On some occasions, I belittle myself saying I no longer look desirable, I'm fat and ugly or I look old already. I felt terrible. I did try to seduce him but to no avail. You can't force yourself to a faggot anyway. I started neglecting myself and felt so much hatred for him. He did this to me. 

One day, I promised myself that I will be contented again especially without that. I will live a celibate life. Since then I focused all my love, attention and devotion to my kids. Not a day goes by that I do not sleep beside Tyler or tend to Evo. I avoided all the romantic movies or racy scenes I would unexpectedly see until I could be able to not feel anything whenever these actors share a passionate kiss or coitus. Online shopping was also a good help. I would rather dress up myself than sulk and look like hell simply because there is something absent in my life. And I'm glad I did it. 

Suite Francaise : Falling in love with the enemy

My growing interest for war romance got me hooked into this film by Sal Dibb based from Irene Nemirovsky's novel of the same name. Set in early 1940s during the occupation of Germans in France, it depicts the beautifully crafted love story between a French villager Lucille Angellier and a German Oberlutnant (Lieutenant) Bruno Van Falk. Amidst the harrowing struggles of the Parisian fleeing to the countryside and the increasing pressure of living closely with their enemies, the villagers learned to get by while Lucille had grown comfortable and fondly in love with her German guest.

This superbly acted war romance boasts of stellar cast and performance by Academy Award nominee Michelle Williams, Matthias Schoenaerts, Academy Award winner Kristin Scott Thomas, Margot Robbie and Sam Riley. 

Already pressured living with her domineering mother in law Madame Angellier while awaiting news about her soldier husband, Angellier's simple life changed when a German officer was billeted in their household. Lt. Bruno Van Falk, a strikingly handsome yet well-mannered German officer, was also smitten with Lucille's beauty and kindness. Even though Lucille tries to ignore Bruno, she finds herself charmed by his subtle wooing, kindly demeanor and their common love for piano music. Oftentimes Lucille would peak through windows and door catching a glimpse of their guest as he plays the piano or pets his adopted dog. It was her love of music that made her speak with Bruno for the first time. It was music that brought them closer together. 

Likewise everyone else in the village have ambivalent responses about living closely with their invaders. An awkward moment showed that after months of not seeing shirtless blokes, French women were instantly glued to the sight of German soldiers bathing by the town square. The women's mothers of course remain hostile and curse their foreign occupants. Benoit Labarrie, Viscount's farmhouse tenant, terribly resents the young German lieutenant billeted in his household. To make matters worse, Lt. Kurt chases after his wife. On the other hand, Madame Angellier's beautiful tenant, Celine, has no compunctions sleeping with an enemy. After Celine was caught by Lucille having sex with their German guest by the woods, Celine firmly explained to her that they are human too just like themselves, and that it was Lucille and her mother in law who threw them out to sleep in a barn in exchange for Leah and her daughter Anna. Meanwhile, Leah, a Parisian refugee is seen to be always fearful whenever she sees German soldiers. While collecting their rent, Lucille sees a frightened Leah when Celine's German soldier lover approaches Leah to ask for soap. The pursuit for Benoit later exposed Leah as a hiding Jew. In an oddly saddening scenario, most townspeople took the German invasion as their opportunity to settle old scores and rifts with their neighbors. 

Even though the romance is somewhat inescapable of contrivances, I cannot help but ship Lucille and Bruno. They just exude with so much chemistry that I find their love story breathtakingly moving. Words of love were not spoken between the two, but with every stare and thoughtful gestures of Bruno towards Lucille, one cannot help but fall for a dashingly handsome and gentleman enemy. It's hard not to fall for Bruno. He may be a Werchmacht lieutenant yet he abhors killing. If he can have it his way, he will not shoot any man at all. One can feel his humanity when Bruno even despised himself after leading the Viscount's execution but then he tried to make amends with Lucille by protecting her up to last minute before he left Bussy.

An additional twist in their story is that the clandestine couple were both bound to a loveless marriage. The air is thick with whispers about Lucille being a collaborator or a German whore. and the fear of them being caught is far too grave. After sharing a passionate kiss and an ephemeral yet steamy sex, Lucille and Bruno suddenly tarted to grow apart. Succumbing to her conscience and silencing her heart, Lucille decided Bruno is nothing like her. Moreover, the surrounding circumstances and their differences made the lovers question if they are really meant for each other. The only assurance Lucille gave Bruno to tell him that she loves him is when she said Bruno's life is precious to her. Bruno on the other hand, helped Lucille and Benoit escape from the checkpoint area.

How I wish the movie had a better ending for this two lovers who finally found something perfect in their lonely lives. It could end in a way like Lucille and Bruno, already divorced to their spouses met again after the war in Paris through an opera concert, rekindle their romance, got married, have kids and lived happily ever after. But war made it difficult to make them foresee a future together. How I wish there really is someone like Bruno Van Falk out there waiting for me. HAHA! I cannot believe I have the hots for a movie actor again!

In addition to Bruno and Lucille's ill fated romance, the movie also showed the amazing human ability to move forward through through resilience and perseverance. In the words of Lucille, though she may have lost her loved one music always bring him back to her.

Bruno comforts Lucille after she finds out that her husband has been having extramarital affairs and a lovechild. 

Amigo - From Philippine-American War

This is the only historical drama film that depicts the Philippine-American era which shaped our history at the turn of the 19th century. After Spain secede the Philippine Islands, the Filipinos were once again subjected to another foreign occupation by the Americans. The Filipinos initially thought the Americans would help deliver them from the 400 year abuse of the Spaniards. However, upon setting foot on the country, the Americans decided to stay colonizing the country again for another 40 years. Being likened to a bad ninong/godfather, it is a love-hate relationship that had started and transpired between the two countries as early as the outbreak of the Philippine-American war. Presumably, this relationship is still visible to date. Aside from showing Filipino resilience and patriotism, this film gives us an insight of how the Americans and Filipinos forged a relationship despite being at war with each other for a time.

Set in 1900, the citizens of the agricultural town of San Isidro in Luzon led by the cabeza del barrio, Rafael Dacanay (Joel Torre) enjoy a quiet afternoon performing their daily routines. Some farmers patiently till the soil while other women busily pound rice stalks; a normal job in barrios. Seen also is Rafael's wife, a devout Catholic taking time to confess her sins committed that day to the imprisoned Spanish friar when all of a sudden, an American regiment raided their town. Led by Colonel Hardacre (Academy Award winner, Chris Cooper) they searched for revolutionists wherein Rafael's son, Juaquinito and a fellow revolutionist (Bembol Roco) narrowly escaped death. In the town square, the subdued townsfolk were to coerced to tell who their cabeza del barrio is. By then, the freed Spanish friar, Fr. Hidalgo (Yul Vasquez) who is also fluent in English pointed to Rafael Dacanay as their cabeza and brother to the captain of local guerillas, Simon (Ronnie Lazaro). Rafael then introduced himself to Lt. Compton (Garret Dillahunt) as amigo, "Soy mun, Amigo." From then on he was called Amigo, the man in charge and accountable of all the affairs of San Isidro.

Garrisoned in San Isidro, Lt. Compton and his group of young men try to win the minds and hearts of its residents while serving the orders of their superior, Col. Hardacre. There were times when the Americans had put pressure on the Filipinos namely when they killed the buffaloes with the idea of preventing the people to transport goods to the revolutionists, when they set guard posts and perimeters that determine how far the people can only go, and lastly, when Lt. Compton particularly ordered Amigo, also a vast rice plantation owner, to plow the fields as well like the other farmers.

Despite the hostilities of war outside the town, the Americans and Filipinos developed a connection. The Americans promised protection for the people and had let them go about their normal lives. Under Lt. Compton's benevolent supervision, the barrio experienced an election of cabeza where the men unanimously voted for Rafael. The election was the townspeople's first taste of democracy which Lt. Compton referred to as the will of the people. In one scene, the young American soldiers talked about their appreciation of Filipina beauty and liquor. It is also hard not to notice Peterson's (Dane DeHaan) admiration and subtle wooing of a timid Filipina girl. Despite language barrier, the two expressed their genuine appreciation of each other's striking beauty with foreign banters and sign languages. Moreover, after a hard day's labor of both the Filipinos and Americans after building a hut for a quarantined old lady, Lt. Compton could not help but notice how the Filipinos still manage to smile which he mentioned as not such a bad thing.

The townspeople were even allowed to celebrate their annual barrio fiesta in honor of San Isidro, the patron saint of the laborers. Both group shared merrymaking, cockfighting or sabong, and dined altogether the food and alcoholic drinks that the Filipinos had prepared. Unbeknownst to everyone, the local guerrillas successfully launched an attack that same week on the supply train of the Americans in another station. An enraged Col. Hardacre roused the townspeople a day after the fiesta then reprimanded Lt. Compton for partying and befriending the natives. This incident pushed Lt. Compton and his men to shift their treatment of the Filipinos to enemies again. Amigo, being a brother to a revolutionist was therefore considered a spy, blamed of the aforementioned incident, and tortured to reveal the guerrillas' location.

In the movie, Rafael tries his best to lead his people under increasingly difficult circumstances. However, no matter what he does his fate is still appears to be leading him to his ultimate doom. Obeying the Americans branded Amigo as a traitor to the revolutionary cause, and almost got him assassinated by a fellow Filipino. On the other hands, spying for the guerrillas would instantly have him executed by the Americans. He struck the middle ground by focusing on his townspeople's needs during these perilous times. Unfortunately, it still did not save him.

After leading around in circles the American regiment en route to capture the revolutionists, the group was ambushed by the latter. "Damn, damn, damn the Filipinos!", the Americans merrily sing shortly before their ambush. With three American soldiers dead and Peterson becoming partly paralyzed from sustained gunshot on the hip, Amigo was incarcerated, and soon after sentenced to death.

In an unfortunate turn of events, what could have saved Amigo's life even to the last minute was sabotaged by his own son, Juaquinito. Juaquinito's saboteur by cutting the communication wire whilst Sta. Clara's American station was sending message of President Aguinaldo's surrender and amnesty for enemies to San Isidro ultimately ended his father's life.

Instead of letting Amigo suffer a painful death from hanging, Lt. Compton swiftly ended Rafael's life by shooting him point blank. The screams of Rafael's wife reverberated behind. Six months later after Amigo's death, his son Juaquinito and the remaining revolutionists surrendered themselves to the Americans and received 30 Mexican coins each in exchange for their Mauser rifles.

The squad shortly before their ambush singing, "Damn, damn, damn the Filipinos."

Fire feeds on hatred: Wolyn, a Polish film

My growing interest in history and war drama brought me to watching even foreign films. Last weekend I had the chance to come across this film. It has English subtitles so for the next 135 minutes, my eyes were glued to the screen. It contains graphic scenes and extreme violence as it tries to tell the historically accurate events that transpired in Poland decades ago. Moreover, this is the most disturbing and brutal film I have ever watched to date. If you do not have the stomach to endure slash films, this one is not for you.

After the 1939 Soviet and Nazi invasions, the people of Southeast Poland underwent a third and even more terrible ordeal when they were subjected to mass genocide by the Ukrainian Nationalists. Tens of thousands of Poles were tortured and murdered, not by foreign invaders, but by their fellow citizens-sometimes neighbors, relatives, and former friends, This film, the first to tell this tragic tale, vividly depicts the atrocities experienced by the Polish people costing them 100,000 brutal deaths. Ukrainians suffered as well with over 15,000 casualties from Polish retaliatory attacks.

The film revolves around Zosia, a young Polish girl whose simple life suddenly changed in the outbreak of World War 2 in 1939. Despite being in love with her childhood friend Pietro, a Ukrainian, she was forced to marry Maciej, a Polish widower twice her age. Zosia's parents believed it would be better for Zosia to marry a wealthy Polish than a Ukrainian. World War 2 erupted and brought themselves to fighting the Soviets in the eastern front. Zosia's now husband, Maciej fought for Poland but eventually lost. He was sent home along with his other comrades and witnessed firsthand the brutalities of the Ukrainians when the latter killed his companions. 

Back home, Zosia now pregnant with Pietro's child patiently tended to Maciej's farm and children. Despite Maciej's return, she rekindled her affair with Pietro. When orders to send Polish to forced labor camps in Siberia took effect, Maciej and his family were loaded in trains. Already feeling labor contractions, Zosia and Maciej's children were released from the train by the Soviet guards after Pietro bribed them with stolen vodkas. While giving birth inside Pietro's house as assisted by his mother, Pietro was shot to death by a Soviet soldier for stealing vodkas. 

Just when people think things will remain stable under the communist rule of the Soviets, the German Nazis invaded Poland after their launch of Operation Barbarossa in 1941. They were kind to both Polish and Ukrainian citizens but unforgiving of the Jewish population therein.  

1898. Los Ultimos de Filipinas Character and Plot Review

Spoiler alert! A Spanish film that reads 1898. The Last Men in the Philippines in English translation.

Needless it is to say, the film revolves around the last Spanish militia to surrender in the Philippine Islands. Historically speaking, Spain was the first colony to circumnavigate the world during the 15th century. These colonizers had brought themselves to a natural resources rich island in the far east and named it Philippines after King Philip I of Spain. What was supposed to be their search for Spice Island became a 400 year occupation of the island. With the fall of Baler in 1898, the Spanish era also marked its end with the surrender of its last colony.

In the pre-credits scene, the movie informed the viewers beforehand that most of the characters and plot were fictionalized. I wondered to what extent the movie would be fictionalized since I am a Filipina myself and quite knowledgeable in that aspect. Halfway into watching the film, I figured the similarities and differences myself. The film is actually amazing despite some plot deviation. They showed the plight of the Spaniards who dedicated themselves to defending the territory of Spain even though unbeknownst to them, their rulers already seceded the Philippine Islands . I believe the actors gave a tremendous performance of their respective characters. One might even develop crushes to the guapo soldiers in the garrison. However, I have few comments that I believe must be clarified to the viewers.

Barely a week before surrendering the country to the Americans in the Spanish-American war, the 50 men Spanish reinforcement headed by Capitan Enrique de las Morenas arrived on the beaches of Baler. Their goal was to reclaim the small town from the Filipino insurgents who just massacred the Spanish militia initially stationed there. The group was composed mostly of young, unskilled and naive men armed with ammunition and an unfazed loyalty to the king of Spain. Aboard the ship en route to Baler, people especially the ladies will already notice Carlos, a handsome young artist alongside his young enlisted friends Juan, Jose and Carvajal. The story will center mostly to Carlos and their 11 month ordeal inside the fortified church of Baler.

Even though the location was not shot in Baler, Aurora, Philippines, one could not tell the difference from Canary Islands with its lush rainforest, crystal clear waterfalls, and unforgiving waves that also made Baler a famous surfing destination to date. On the beach they were welcomed by Bro Carmelo, a Spanish serving in the local church. Upon arriving in their garrison, the soldiers led by Lt. Martin Cerezo met Lt. Jimeno, a scarred and embittered Spanish who survived the last massacre. He told them about what happened there and warned everyone to be prepared for the insurgents will come back again from the mountains. He also told them to be wary of Teresa, a beautiful yet daring Spanish-speaking Filipina whore whom Cerezo referred to as a spy feeding his revolutionist brother information about Spaniards. Teresa seductively welcomed the new Spaniard troops and treated them to a song cut short retorting she was only paid a dime to sing.

I have a lot of comment on this character. Clearly, the woman's portrayal of Filipinas was a far cry from what barrio lass Filipinas truly were during that time. She was an Indio whore and worse, whores were never accepted. Also, Indios were never taught how to speak or even plainly understand Spanish; only the privileged and rich meztizos or meztizas had the opportunity to learn Spanish. Whores also do not play major roles in wars yet this film was an exception. Truth be told, whores back then were too afraid to even come out in the public for fear that they will be stoned to death. However, Teresa in the film was too vulgar of her actions and choice of clothes. Even though the Filipina actress' acting is amazing and surreal, hers is really an erroneous interpretation of Filipinas in the film that could leave bad impression to the viewers.

The film was set at a time when women do not play any key role in politics or governance. With this, I was surprised when Teresa and her group gave crates of oranges to Lts. Cerezo and Jimeno. She even tried to negotiate their surrender albeit in subtle yet seductive way. Some points to consider here also is that number one, for a fact, oranges do not grow in the Philippines which is a humid country. Mangoes or avocados could have been the better choice. Second, women were rarely a given a big part in politics let alone convincing enemies to surrender. Although some women participated in wars, many opted to stay at home, tend to their children, and leave politics to their men.

Moreover in another lamentable scene, Teresa lured the Spaniards to surrender by serenading them with a romantic and provocative song wearing only the red KKK flag draped around her body thus exposing her bare breasts. I was embarrassed watching this. No sane Filipina, whore or not, would do humiliating actions just to make her enemies surrender. In fact, it was the Spaniards who instilled Christianity and conservative views to the Filipino natives and their people alike. They greatly influenced the Filipinos that a woman's virginity should be preserved for marriage, and even speaking the slightest mention of a lewd language was easily frowned upon. Lastly, the public sex scene of Teresa and an insurgent across the church for the Spaniards to see was extremely deplarable. It was too scandalous even for the revolutionists or natives to watch that not even war could exempt any couple from doing the deed in public. In reality, they could have been hanged or shot by the revolutionists themselves for performing coitus in public.

I understand that Teresa's provocative and sexual portrayal of Filipinas was meant to add burden and dilemma to the Spaniards in order for them to surrender. She represented the sexual fantasies they were missing and depriving themselves of. However, this historical inaccuracy could leave a wrong and lasting impression on Filipinas that we are nothing but a bunch of animals and whores.

However there is one thing that I really appreciated about Teresa.  It was when she happily and proudly embraced her inevitable demise even sharing a brief yet chilling eye to eye contact with Lt. Cerezo, her death dealer, before being shot. No words were heard. She did not bother running away but stood firmly on the ground making herself an easy target and waited for the gunshot to take her life away.

"You saved my life.", she told Lt. Cerezo one time. But it was also he who took it from her.

The other characters played their parts commendably. Capitan Moreno, a noble yet incompetent dog- loving leader is the only rational superior in the squad. He wanted to verify the news of Spain's surrender and ordered Carlos to venture on a 200km/150mile journey to Manila but not long before Moreno surrendered to beri beri. Had his successor, Lt. Cerezo let Carlos carry out this mission, more of the men could have gone home safely.

Conflict of authority is also visibly seen between Lt. Cerezo and Lt. Jimeno. The latter, filled with spite, always wanted the Spanish armada to launch an offensive fight against the Filipino insurgents, whereas the former believed and implemented for them to remain inside the church fortress thus giving them an upper hand. Based on history, the Spaniards actually launched offensive attacks on the villagers by burning their houses at night to clear their view of advancing insurgents. The two men's dedication to their cause can never be questioned. No amount of propaganda or truce would falter their loyalty to Spain or would move them to surrender. Not even at the cost of losing their lives.

Something noteworthy in the film also is the friendship that developed between Carlos and Bro Carmelo and Carlos with his fellow comrades, Juan, Carvajal and Jose. It gave the viewers an insightful view of how friendships are forged in times of war. Prior to the start of Baler siege, Bro Carmelo noticed Carlos' artistic skills thus commissioned him to paint murals on the church walls. This relieved Carlos of duties to participate in strenuous combat training. Bro Carmelo shared his secret to Carlos in order to survive. The limited opium they smoke every night gave the two new friends an unparalleled strength of suppressing both pain and hunger. Opium addiction enabled them remain strong enough to carry out their tasks. However, when Bro Carmelo suddenly died of beri beri, Carlos was left to fight his demons alone and slowly regained his sanity from opium addiction.

Carlos, a handsome yet naive, artistic yet humble soldier has comrades that were very much like him. They were all inexperienced in war and in life as some never even experienced sleeping with a woman. Juan is a God-fearing boy who believed his lucky crucifix would deliver him from death while Carvajal is gentle to women. Despite their gentle demeanor, war had not been forgiving to both of them. On the other hand, Juan left an impression to the audience when he deserted his comrades after his first taste of battle. He may be dubbed a coward yet he is practical and correct for choosing to life over brutal and inevitable death for a lost cause. "History will remember you as idiots." Juan shouted in tears while convincing his former comrades to surrender.

Mix these characters together one gets a better insight of how the real Spanish soldiers who secluded themselves in Baler worked together to survive. Watching their mechanics and daily routine will allow yourself to feel emphatic of them, admire them or even loathe some of them. Eleven months after defending their fortress and remaining territory against all odds, one will feel so much respect to these soldiers.

This movie was dedicated to the original 33 men who survived the siege of Baler.