Lunes, Agosto 14, 2017

1898. Los Ultimos de Filipinas Character and Plot Review


Spoiler alert! A Spanish film that reads 1898. The Last Men in the Philippines in English translation.

Needless it is to say, the film revolves around the last Spanish militia to surrender in the Philippine Islands. Historically speaking, Spain was the first colony to circumnavigate the world during the 15th century. These colonizers had brought themselves to a natural resources rich island in the far east and named it Philippines after King Philip I of Spain. What was supposed to be their search for Spice Island became a 400 year occupation of the island. With the fall of Baler in 1898, the Spanish era also marked its end with the surrender of its last colony.

In the pre-credits scene, the movie informed the viewers beforehand that most of the characters and plot were fictionalized. I wondered to what extent the movie would be fictionalized since I am a Filipina myself and quite knowledgeable in that aspect. Halfway into watching the film, I figured the similarities and differences myself. The film is actually amazing despite some plot deviation. They showed the plight of the Spaniards who dedicated themselves to defending the territory of Spain even though unbeknownst to them, their rulers already seceded the Philippine Islands . I believe the actors gave a tremendous performance of their respective characters. One might even develop crushes to the guapo soldiers in the garrison. However, I have few comments that I believe must be clarified to the viewers.

Barely a week before surrendering the country to the Americans in the Spanish-American war, the 50 men Spanish reinforcement headed by Capitan Enrique de las Morenas arrived on the beaches of Baler. Their goal was to reclaim the small town from the Filipino insurgents who just massacred the Spanish militia initially stationed there. The group was composed mostly of young, unskilled and naive men armed with ammunition and an unfazed loyalty to the king of Spain. Aboard the ship en route to Baler, people especially the ladies will already notice Carlos, a handsome young artist alongside his young enlisted friends Juan, Jose and Carvajal. The story will center mostly to Carlos and their 11 month ordeal inside the fortified church of Baler.

Even though the location was not shot in Baler, Aurora, Philippines, one could not tell the difference from Canary Islands with its lush rainforest, crystal clear waterfalls, and unforgiving waves that also made Baler a famous surfing destination to date. On the beach they were welcomed by Bro Carmelo, a Spanish serving in the local church. Upon arriving in their garrison, the soldiers led by Lt. Martin Cerezo met Lt. Jimeno, a scarred and embittered Spanish who survived the last massacre. He told them about what happened there and warned everyone to be prepared for the insurgents will come back again from the mountains. He also told them to be wary of Teresa, a beautiful yet daring Spanish-speaking Filipina whore whom Cerezo referred to as a spy feeding his revolutionist brother information about Spaniards. Teresa seductively welcomed the new Spaniard troops and treated them to a song cut short retorting she was only paid a dime to sing.

I have a lot of comment on this character. Clearly, the woman's portrayal of Filipinas was a far cry from what barrio lass Filipinas truly were during that time. She was an Indio whore and worse, whores were never accepted. Also, Indios were never taught how to speak or even plainly understand Spanish; only the privileged and rich meztizos or meztizas had the opportunity to learn Spanish. Whores also do not play major roles in wars yet this film was an exception. Truth be told, whores back then were too afraid to even come out in the public for fear that they will be stoned to death. However, Teresa in the film was too vulgar of her actions and choice of clothes. Even though the Filipina actress' acting is amazing and surreal, hers is really an erroneous interpretation of Filipinas in the film that could leave bad impression to the viewers.

The film was set at a time when women do not play any key role in politics or governance. With this, I was surprised when Teresa and her group gave crates of oranges to Lts. Cerezo and Jimeno. She even tried to negotiate their surrender albeit in subtle yet seductive way. Some points to consider here also is that number one, for a fact, oranges do not grow in the Philippines which is a humid country. Mangoes or avocados could have been the better choice. Second, women were rarely a given a big part in politics let alone convincing enemies to surrender. Although some women participated in wars, many opted to stay at home, tend to their children, and leave politics to their men.

Moreover in another lamentable scene, Teresa lured the Spaniards to surrender by serenading them with a romantic and provocative song wearing only the red KKK flag draped around her body thus exposing her bare breasts. I was embarrassed watching this. No sane Filipina, whore or not, would do humiliating actions just to make her enemies surrender. In fact, it was the Spaniards who instilled Christianity and conservative views to the Filipino natives and their people alike. They greatly influenced the Filipinos that a woman's virginity should be preserved for marriage, and even speaking the slightest mention of a lewd language was easily frowned upon. Lastly, the public sex scene of Teresa and an insurgent across the church for the Spaniards to see was extremely deplarable. It was too scandalous even for the revolutionists or natives to watch that not even war could exempt any couple from doing the deed in public. In reality, they could have been hanged or shot by the revolutionists themselves for performing coitus in public.

I understand that Teresa's provocative and sexual portrayal of Filipinas was meant to add burden and dilemma to the Spaniards in order for them to surrender. She represented the sexual fantasies they were missing and depriving themselves of. However, this historical inaccuracy could leave a wrong and lasting impression on Filipinas that we are nothing but a bunch of animals and whores.

However there is one thing that I really appreciated about Teresa.  It was when she happily and proudly embraced her inevitable demise even sharing a brief yet chilling eye to eye contact with Lt. Cerezo, her death dealer, before being shot. No words were heard. She did not bother running away but stood firmly on the ground making herself an easy target and waited for the gunshot to take her life away.

"You saved my life.", she told Lt. Cerezo one time. But it was also he who took it from her.

The other characters played their parts commendably. Capitan Moreno, a noble yet incompetent dog- loving leader is the only rational superior in the squad. He wanted to verify the news of Spain's surrender and ordered Carlos to venture on a 200km/150mile journey to Manila but not long before Moreno surrendered to beri beri. Had his successor, Lt. Cerezo let Carlos carry out this mission, more of the men could have gone home safely.

Conflict of authority is also visibly seen between Lt. Cerezo and Lt. Jimeno. The latter, filled with spite, always wanted the Spanish armada to launch an offensive fight against the Filipino insurgents, whereas the former believed and implemented for them to remain inside the church fortress thus giving them an upper hand. Based on history, the Spaniards actually launched offensive attacks on the villagers by burning their houses at night to clear their view of advancing insurgents. The two men's dedication to their cause can never be questioned. No amount of propaganda or truce would falter their loyalty to Spain or would move them to surrender. Not even at the cost of losing their lives.

Something noteworthy in the film also is the friendship that developed between Carlos and Bro Carmelo and Carlos with his fellow comrades, Juan, Carvajal and Jose. It gave the viewers an insightful view of how friendships are forged in times of war. Prior to the start of Baler siege, Bro Carmelo noticed Carlos' artistic skills thus commissioned him to paint murals on the church walls. This relieved Carlos of duties to participate in strenuous combat training. Bro Carmelo shared his secret to Carlos in order to survive. The limited opium they smoke every night gave the two new friends an unparalleled strength of suppressing both pain and hunger. Opium addiction enabled them remain strong enough to carry out their tasks. However, when Bro Carmelo suddenly died of beri beri, Carlos was left to fight his demons alone and slowly regained his sanity from opium addiction.

Carlos, a handsome yet naive, artistic yet humble soldier has comrades that were very much like him. They were all inexperienced in war and in life as some never even experienced sleeping with a woman. Juan is a God-fearing boy who believed his lucky crucifix would deliver him from death while Carvajal is gentle to women. Despite their gentle demeanor, war had not been forgiving to both of them. On the other hand, Juan left an impression to the audience when he deserted his comrades after his first taste of battle. He may be dubbed a coward yet he is practical and correct for choosing to life over brutal and inevitable death for a lost cause. "History will remember you as idiots." Juan shouted in tears while convincing his former comrades to surrender.

Mix these characters together one gets a better insight of how the real Spanish soldiers who secluded themselves in Baler worked together to survive. Watching their mechanics and daily routine will allow yourself to feel emphatic of them, admire them or even loathe some of them. Eleven months after defending their fortress and remaining territory against all odds, one will feel so much respect to these soldiers.

This movie was dedicated to the original 33 men who survived the siege of Baler.

Sabado, Hulyo 29, 2017

Dunkirk + WW2 enthusiast millenial me


Ironic as it may seem, I keep finding solace and bewilderment whenever I watch World War II documentaries or war movies. How could someone find peace during the perilous times of war? I cannot explain my happiness every time I watch a certain documentary about World War II either in the European or Pacific theatre.

Last weekend, I watched Christopher Nolan's latest masterpiece "Dunkirk." It was an amazing film that literally took me to the edge of my seat. When the film ended, I wanted to read more about it. The movie Dunkirk portrays the miraculous evacuation of 400,000 British, French and Dutch soldiers from the port of the same title during World War II after the Allied forces were forced to retreat back to Britain upon France's surrender to Nazis. Out 400,000, around 330,000 were safely evacuated despite frequent air raids by the Luftwaffe day and night at seas. 

On some nights, I re-watch documentaries I've already seen before as long as its topic is all about World War II. Last night, I watched a documentary about the forgotten World War II Japanese tunnels of Batanes Island. It instantly added to my bucketlist of historical sights to visit. For the first time also I have seen the underground tunnels built by the Filipino-Americans under the bustling cities of Taguig and Makati pre war. I found out that there was an entrance just across Market Market and I am really excited to see that as well.

I don't know if there are still folks who are this obsessed with learning about war history. 

Sabado, Hunyo 17, 2017

Father's day for a not so fatherly figure

Today marks Father's Day celebration for all the dependable dads out there excluding the dad of my sons. He could only earn the accolade if he would be brave enough to wash my son when they soiled their nappies or give them a bath when they smell pretty bad. Too shallow? You would understand if you would dig deeper.

To give a back story about my son's biological father, he ruined my hope that he will be a good father the day he mocked our first born son, Evo, for not looking like him a couple of weeks after Evo was born. Evo used to have a darker skin tone as compared to him, and honestly speaking Evo, closely resembles me during his first few days of life.

"Hindi ko anak 'yan! Kung anak ko yan bakit hindi ko kamukha?!" He angrily lashed out at my frail self while I was recuperating from my CS operation.

"Pasalamat ka binigyan ko yang anak mo ng apelyido." I cried myself to sleep when he left my mom's apartment. I had been inconsolable the day after that incident. To cut things short, I suffered from Post-partum depression because of him. There was no support, no affection or love seen from a father to his firstborn son seen from him during those first crucial weeks of our son's life. He would provide diapers, immunization expenses, and sometimes formula milk but he would never console Evo when he was colic nor change his soiled nappies after poo or pee.

"Nadidiri ako. Hindi ko trabaho 'yan, gawin mo." If he had no choice, he would just hold Evo's tiny feet as I clean him up or when his mother is around, he'd yell for help. "Mommy! Tulungan mo ako magpalit!"

Six months later after recuperating, I moved back with him in his parents' house. How I wanted to sleep beside our son but he didn't like the idea. He said Evo would be better sleeping beside his mother because she had her room air-conditioned or he cannot sleep beside our child because he might squish our baby from heavy sleeping after being alcohol wasted. Good job, dad! I had no choice but to give in to their wants. From then on, I was separated from my son. I never had the chance to decide for Evo, and I regret that to this day.

There were times when he would feel fatherly that he would take us out for grocery shopping, lunch or dinner with Evo. However, once his mother declines saying our son will get sick if he goes out more often, he simply obeys. After all, it was less of a hassle on his part since he will not tend to a crying baby.

Every night after dinner, instead of helping me put Evo to sleep, he goes out to drink with his different sets of friends: DSWD co-workers, college gang, Rotarians, the list goes on. Sometimes, he takes with them but oftentimes, he wanted it to be an all boys affair. Counting the minutes he spends with Evo on a daily basis back then, it is limited to only 3 hours in total. I was not perfect either but during those crucial moments in my son's life, I was always there for him. I never made him feel unwanted. It was only when his mother took him away from me that I feel defeated. Even though they did not say it, in reality she had competed with me on motherhood; feeling all the more entitled and knowledgeable in taking care of our son to which I surrendered. Feeling hurt every time I see my son not recognizing me nor my scent anymore, I slowly departed and drifted away.

Then came our second son, Tyler. He never wanted Tyler when we found out I was carrying our second child. I became pregnant with Tyler during our most tumultuous time together; when our lovemaking had been from sporadic or nothing to more of a daily basis to cure our depression.

"Ipalaglag mo 'yan! Hindi ko anak 'yan!" He angrily said one night while we were on our way home. I cried hard feeling sorry for being knocked up again. But I wanted this, I wanted Evo to have a brother he can depend on as he walks through life. I endured my first and second trimester of pregnancy being emotionally, physically, and psychologically beaten and tortured by my sons' own father. I cannot leave. I won't leave then because I love him. I can't leave because I cannot leave my son, Evo even though he loves his grandmother more than he has ever loved me.

I will never forget one night he went into my room, deranged. He kicked my thighs which accidentally or intentionally hit my growing belly. He was a monster. I had a feeling back then that he wanted me to suffer miscarriage so the baby and I would die. He bent my knees upward then pressed it against my tummy while my back is lying on the bed. I was overpowered, weak and defenseless from the punches and blows I already had from him. He only stopped when I yelled in pain that my belly hurts. I saw a demon that night, and it was my sons' father. I can take all the physical pain directed at my other body parts but never will I forgive him for threatening our son's life growing inside my womb. I will never forget that including the time he said he will kill Evo if his mother will not learn to love him upon giving birth.

Today, I have seen him change. He has learned to love both Evo and Tyler at the expense of loathing me. I don't care. He feeds them which is his only task for the kids aside from taking them to the mall or other travels. He takes the boys daily on a trip to the public market leaving me at home to tend to other home chores such as cooking their meal. I find it amusing how he has learned to embrace fatherhood albeit not wholeheartedly. He yells at Evo when he's being stubborn and ignores TP when the latter cries profusely. He still thinks of himself at all times but at least he did change from being the monstrous kind of biological father he once was to being a sympathetic one. While he is winning our sons' love, sadly though is that he is also using my kids against me. I often hear him teaching Evo to hate me or exclude me as part of our son's family; that I am just his yaya not his mom. I am his mother for goodness' sake!

You can try winning their hearts and turning me into a monster in their eyes but if our kids will know the truth about you and your family excluding daddy, I don't think our boys will ever respect you. You will never be a good example to our sons. Enjoy your days with them while it lasts.



















Linggo, Mayo 21, 2017

Corregidor: Gibraltar of the East

Corregidor Island formerly known as Fort Mills is one of the 4 islets scattered across Manila Bay. Given its strategic location to spot enemy ships before passing through the country's capital, it was fortified by the USA during the Commonwealth era. Heavy duty guns, mortars, facilities, electricity powered tranvia, military barracks and headquarters were placed in the island amounting to $350,000,000 in investments. It was an island fortress pre World War 2. 

This island was the last military frontline and place in our country to surrender from the invading Japanese Imperial Army. The soil, rocks, and ruins once bear witness to both the Filipino and American soldiers' unfazed heroism to defend our country. Nostalgia overwhelmed me upon setting foot on this sacred grounds.

Corregidor Island is the third World War 2 Memorial I've visited; first one was in Plaza Cuartel, Puerto Princesa City followed by Kundasang War Memorial in Malaysia. Undoubtedly, Corregidor topped my list. From Gen. Douglas MacArthur's famous quote, "I shall return!" ðŸ˜Š

75 years after the war, Corregidor sleeps with her ghosts. Its rubble, abandoned guns, and dilapidated ruins lay muted from the horrors of war it once took part in. She stood her ground against the enemies that trampled our sacred shores. She lays in the stillness of the light at day, and darkness by dusk, waiting to be visited by those who have not forgotten her, and her sons.








Miyerkules, Mayo 10, 2017

Cycle

It's a cycle how one day we are close to separating for good then the next day we are back to doing our parental routines. We are civil, or I am civil when it comes to our kids. I am in charge of cooking their lunch and dinner plus personal hygiene, laundry and cleaning the kids' mess. On the other hand, he does the daily trip to the market to buy raw foods for me to cook and occasional grocery shopping for the kids' needs. They drive out at least twice daily to tour around the kids while I stay at the old house guarding the compound while busy with either cooking for doing the laundry. This makes me confused. I feel that I am needed because I am a perfect example of a diligent homemaker, except for rousing early in the morning to feed the kids or prepare breakfast since I have an early morning shift, but aside from that I am restless all throughout the day. I get to spend some alone time only when possible and when I do, I hit the gym or run at the oval across our house.

Below is my normal schedule every weekdays:

4:00-8:30AM - Cold Calling Shift/Homebased Job
8:30-9:00AM - Wash TP once he soiled his nappies, cleaning, folding clothes etc
9:00-9:15AM - Wash feeding bottles & Sterilize it
9:15-10:00AM - Brunch, Me Time to wash my face, brush my teeth clean my dishes
10:00-11;30AM - Prepare lunch (Cook, clean used pots, set the table for 6)
11:30-12:00NN- Sweep the floor/Fix living room
12:00-1:00PM - Lunch time
1:00-1:10PM - Brush Evo & Tyler's teeth
1:10-1:30PM - Put Tyler to sleep
1:30-1:45PM - Me Time. Shower time
1:45-3;30PM - Kids'/TP's Siesta time
3:30-4:00PM - Laundry: My clothes as well as TP's.Evo's and Tope
4:00-5:30PM - Prepare dinner (Cook, clean used pots, clean stove)
5:30-6:15PM - Me Time. Running/Jogging at oval if possible
6:15-6:20PM - Set the Table for dinner
6:20-7:30PM - Dinner time
7:30-8:00PM - Prepare kids for bedtime. Toothbrush. Also throwing out the garbage
8:00-8:30PM - Me Time. Shower. Toothbrush
8:30-10:30PM - TV, Movie, Net surfing, Putting TP to bed
10:30PM-3:50AM - Bed time

Most of the time, I feel more useful than the kids' nanny. She is focused on the kids which is okay with me. I don;t mind doing the dirty works as long as the kids are happy and safe with her. Plus, I feel that if I give her numerous tasks like if we make her cook food for us oftentimes, she might resign, ergo, I try to make her tasks limited and light as possible.

You see how useful I am? I suppose my vital task too is guarding the house. They feel safer leaving the compound when someone is left behind so I am always left behind, aside from other personal reasons. I don't leave the house except for 3 reasons: TVNet tapings which usually take only 40 minutes or I need to run errands or see my mom or sisters, hitting the gym for 2x/week workout, and lastly, running before dinner time at the high school athletic field across the house. I keep wondering what if I leave, who will do all these things to them for free? Daddy? He is supposed to rest only. If he does all these cooking and laundry for his son like he used to when my husband was younger, daddy will be exhausted. I don't mind doing these chores anyway since it keeps me busy. It keeps all the stressful thoughts away not to mention it makes me active and lose excess weight. I wish!


Martes, Mayo 2, 2017

Hayaan mo akong mamuta... (A Womanizer's Poem)

Sa halimuyak mo ako'y wala ng gana..
Mga mata ko'y hindi na nahahalina
Ni ang haplusin ang makinis mo pigi,
O dampian ng halik ang iyong sabik na labi,

Hindi ko na magawa pa...

Lumipas na iyong ganda..
Buhat ng ika'y magbuhat ng bata
Bakit ba tayo'y nagpatali pa,
Sa simbaha'y nagpakasal at nanumpa..

Gayong ako'y makisig at batang-bata pa..

Sabi ng aking kaibigan sa esposo niyang seaman,
"Mahal, umuwi kang walang sakit, h'wag mo akong hahawahan."
Nakakainggit naman nais kong pamarisan
Sapagkat ang kabiyak ko ay lagi ako kung pigilan..

Tali lang ako sa batas, ang ibang babae saki'y walang ligtas..

Alak dito, puta doon; kembot pa dito at indayog
Namumukadkad ang mga hita, mga dibdib na anong kay lalambot..
Oh, magandang puta, itayo mo ang nanamlay na batuta ko
Lasapin ang pagsamyong papagod sa'yo...

Buhay ng aking asawa, sa'yo'y iaalay ko, pasayahin mo lang ako..

Lalaki ako at kagalang-galang sakin ang mamuta
Hindi ko kailangan ang permiso mo o pangungunsensya
Regalo ako ng Maykapal sa mga kababaihan,
Mapalad ka sa akin o misis magpakaylan man...


Iyak mo, Jo sakin ay walang epekto..
Nananawa na ako sa piling mo
Hayaan mo na lang na magpakasaya ako
Dahil pagdating ng umaga, sa'yo pa rin naman ang uwi ko...


(A synthesized poem depicting my husband's drinking and womanizing that drove me into a deep depression. Circa 2011-2012)



I don't nag. I write.

After losing all my respect to Fold, I realized that I may have another purpose in life aside from seeing to it that my children are in good shape....annoy him to death. It gives me solace seeing him furious, deteriorating, dying. He thinks he is suffering right now when it actually isn't enough to repay the damage he did to me. When I still love him, I held back on telling people what kind of hell I have been through with him. But not anymore. When I lost the last ounce of love I have had for fold, I also lost the need to protect him despite the fact that he remains the father of my children.

He left for Lucena City last Sunday so new room was empty. No fold. Then I felt sorry for my baby who was dripping wet with sweat. Summer heat was unforgiving that night so I texted my psychotic spouse that we need to transfer to the AC room. I packed and carried everything: milk, nappies, milk bottle, and TP. When we reached the room on the 2nd floor, it was locked. I made a serious effort to bring those things but he was so rude not to inform me that he had locked it. I went berserk. No more little nice girl. After getting back to the kids' playroom I sent him hate messages which obviously shook his core. I was crying while carelessly typing everything. It felt like I was shouting at the top of my lungs when I was actually just typing, blogging. I felt relieved afterwards. Though I did not nag, my provocative words sent the message loud and clear...I'm fed up of him.

I'm fed up of being used and abused. I'm fed up of being physically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, financially, and socially tormented by him. It's been 10 long, agonizing years that I have put up with a douche bag named fold. I wasted my youth, career, love, life to an undeserving faggot who believes true love should be reciprocated by alcoholism, violence, womanizing, and abusive behavior. Disrespect it the road to ruin.

I am what you made me. This is the outcome of the years of emotional turmoil and psychological battery you caused me. My breathing will no longer be stifled, and this is my karmic relief. You deserve every karma that slaps you hard in the face, bitch. I loathe you, Fold with every air that I breathe.