I love you lolo

I've thought about making a tribute entry about my beloved lolo couple of weeks ago but I hesitated. Why should I write one when he's still with us? I hoped and prayed that he remains strong, but as the days passed by, he only grew weaker. Mama, bi & I paid him a visit last March 11 and saw how weak he had become. Sitting on his reliable rocking chair is my frail and thin lolo Panching. I reached for his long, bony fingers and placed it on my forehead, so did mama and Tope. I kissed lolo on his cheeks, he smelled clean like always, and then he flashed his sweetest smiled as gratitude. I asked how he was feeling but he can no longer speak. I knew in my heart he's just waiting for the inevitable. It pains me seeing him like that. But I know it would hurt me more not seeing him anymore. Still I chatted with lolo, told him to eat more so that he will be strong again. Then lola sat beside us and showed lolo the things we brought: adult diapers, Cobra energy drink, cookies, and Lysol which was requested by tita to keep lolo's surroundings germ-free. Lola stacked the cookies in lolo's cookie box container and then mama opened one for lolo to eat. Lolo smiled again and went on to chew the small chocolate cookie. He chewed slowly since his lower denture was missing.

I remember his last days. He was quiet; spending most of his time sitting on his rocking chair pondering perhaps on his family and the simple yet good life he will leave behind. Lolo was filled with love. He treasures his wife, 6 kids and their spouses, 14 grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. We may not be always beside him but I know he can feel how much we love him. I reckon him bidding us good bye on his 87th bday. He kept telling us that day that it will be his last celebration and that we should continue loving each other as a family. It hurt a lot because he was right. Lolo left exactly two months and two days after his birthday. Too soon. I still can't seem to move on. I just think about going back to Sapul, and seeing him seated on his rocking chair would put the smile back to my face.

When I was younger, I would always volunteer to comb his hair neatly. The smell of pomade gives me a hint that my dear lolo is near and being the sweet apo that I am, I would ask for lolo's tiny comb then fixed his hair like Jose Rizal's. I remember lolo's ghost stories. Those folkloric tales about tikbalangs, manananggals, white ladies and kapres. My cousins and I just loved spending our summer vacations with lolo & lola at the farm to hear their stories. After my cousins and I had lunch, our next task is to sleep before hearing lolo's storytelling. Because according to lolo, at 3pm, the tikbalang wanders around to look for children who aren't taking their siesta. And so, we diligently obeyed and slumbered for the rest for the afternoon. By the time we wake up, merienda is already prepared by lola Ett. Nothing is more fulfulling to me before than sipping lemonade under their huge mango tree, eating homemade burgers and fries made by lola while listening to lolo's stories. These are just few of my fondest memories with my lolo and lola. I love them dearly because they were always there for me. They never failed to listen, to help and to reach out to us. I knew in my heart that a part of me also died when lolo left. I still hope and pray that in time, we will meet again my dear lolo. I love you and I will always miss you. Please look after us. Please watch over lola always, she misses you too. Make her stay with us too.


(April 2, 2012)